I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
