He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
