ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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