sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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