Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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