We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Let the clothes fall where they may.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
