Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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