so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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