i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
