Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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