If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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