70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
