absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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