Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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