Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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