I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
