omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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