all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
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