I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
