11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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