it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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