his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
