Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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