Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize