It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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