Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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