So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
