Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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