people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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