She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
