Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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