that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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