So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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