Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
