what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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