we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize