Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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