So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
