I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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