Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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