people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You can't just leave with hair like that
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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