What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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