the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
