I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
