On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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