That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
