Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
