Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
