You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize