Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
