Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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