Yo dont text me then not text me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
