that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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