I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
