I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
