I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
