I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
