what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
